So how excited were you? Ya know, when you heard Muse were releasing their fifth studio album on the 14th of September 2009? Then, how confused were you when you first heard the slightly odd United States of Eurasia? Then, how reassured were you when you remembered it was Matt Bellamy singing and playing guitar, often at the same time, with Chris Wolstenholme on bass and, also curiously at-the-same-time, contributing backing vocals, while Dom Howard played drums, and concluded that it obviously worked and you just hadn't figured it out yet? Excitement, confusion, ridiculous amounts of awe, all instilled by, realistically one of the weaker songs on this album. I changed the last one btw, because reassurance doesn't last long. The ridiculous amounts of awe set in pretty quickly once you figure it out. Even if you don't, just take my word for it. You could just listen to the album again and again until you figured it out for yourself, and you would, but I almost KO'ed in ecstasy during the lyrically orgasmic Undisclosed Desires the first two times I tried, so for those of you who suffer from heart problems, back pains, or got knocked up over the summer, yous best stick to Kasabian's latest for now. It's called something really long, so I'm not going to bother typing it out.
Honesty time though. I'm kinda biased. I was always going to give this album a 10/10. I dunno, it'd just be weird if I didn't. It's kinda like, when you're out on the lash, so on the lash you're almost on the floor, and you're at that stage where even that freaky ass girl with the gammy eye that's trying to give you the one good eye she has is looking pretty pretty fucking hot. Except you're the girl with the gammy eye, and you're trying to eye up Muse's new album, only you've got a gammy eye so you haven't got a fucking clue what he looks like, but you've hardly got standards when it comes to Muse, you've got a gammy eye for 'em, so you're going to think he's amazing regardless. Only, as mentioned, Muse went pretty all out this time, so, when they give it to you regardless of your gammy eye, of course, even by non-gammy-eyed standards, it's out of this world.
It is amazing. Call it different if you want, but this is exactly what was expected of the Devon homerockers. They could have gone and just written a follow-up to Black Holes & Revelations, and even if they had, it probably also would have kicked numerous asses, but that's just a bit...boring? Matt and Co. have clearly already mastered how to write award winning albums, now they're moving onto bigger things; global conspiracies, symphonies, Matt even sings French in one of the songs. The fact that such a fantastic album came out while they're at it? Oh-so Muse. Unnatural Selection is the most beautiful possible flashback to their Origin of Symmetry days, while how far they've come is almost arrogantly shoved in your face through the inspiring 3-part, Exogenesis. But the real gem of this album comes in the form of MK Ultra. Aaaaaaaarrghgughhgudhjbskjhidhjiii1ii1i11i. Listen to it, and you'll understand why I made that noise. Almost every song on this album could be single-material. I would say every song, only one can't help get the sense that Guiding Light is a bit lacking. It's not that it's bad, just you can't help but feel a little disappointed when it comes on, in that it's the one flaw in an otherwise flawless masterpiece. But then MK Ultra comes on again and Aaaaaaaarrghgugh...
I could go on and on praising this album, but at the end of the day, it all comes down the what this album ultimately means for people, and, for once when it comes to Muse, it's really quite simple. Those who are gammy-eyed for Muse get the best thing that ever happened to them. And those that aren't gammy-eyed for Muse? Because, yes, they do exist. There are many out there who weren't excited when they heard there was a Muse album on the horizon. Who weren't gobsmacked by the awesome Uprising, because they didn't hear it. What happens to them? Well, they're just going to keep hearing about the girl who got laid by the best album of 2009 so far, because fuck me if I'm ever going to stop shouting about it. 10/10
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