L Is For Lycanthropy. Some Bandnames Also Start With It.

I have a mentality in life that while bigger is better, I tend to choose smaller because it’s easier to carry around, and eventually bigger just gets annoyingly so. Par example, upon winning big at the Kiddies Kasino in Las Vegas a fair few years back, I was offered a choice of any of the numerous farmyard animal teddies they had to offer. Naturally, I chose the obnoxiously large cow. I was delighted with myself, right up until the time came to boarding our flight back home. The cow obviously wouldn’t fit in our bags, so I had to attempt to carry it aboard, but some similarly bovine air hostess forbid me to, and so we had to leave it behind. I was heartbroken, and to this day I still wish I chose the appropriately sized pig instead. My manhood’s also a tad on the humongous side, but I’ve learned to live with that.
For this reason, I opt for the sexy-slim iPod Nano as opposed to it’s chunkier, more musically capable cousin. The stomach churning trade off for this is, obviously, that I’m always having to delete music to make room for new stuff, a thoroughly painful chore. And it was just recently, whilst excitedly uploading Two Door Cinema Club’s new album, that I realized that I’ve three albums sitting cosily between the two European electro acts, Le Corps Mince De Francoise and Make The Girl Dance, that I had completely forgotten about, but that’s probably because that anytime I went to listen them, I had to pass either one of the two named above, and so got awesomely distracted… But now, since I’ve given up chocolate, fizzy drinks, and kick-ass electro music for Lent, there’s nothing standing between me and the most recent releases from Liars, Lostprophets, and Los Campesinos!. So first up, the fibbing American three-piece.



As you can hear for yourself, Sisterworld’s opening track, Scissor, is seriously good. I’m still undecided as to whether or not it’s the best on there, Scarecrows On A Killer Slant and The Overachievers are certainly in contention for that particular accolade. As for the worst track, that’s a much less closely competed contest, as Drip is possibly the worst track they have ever written. The album as a whole, is mediocre at best. It has a couple of uplifting peaks, apart from the three previously credited, Here Comes All The People is worth a listen or two, as would be Goodnight Everything, but it also has a fair few far from stimulating tracks, and the odd aurally hazardous one too. It’s not terrible, just sort of close to it. However, I’ve read that with the official release of the album will come a bonus-disc featuring remixes from the likes of TV On The Radio and Thom Yorke, so I don’t know, if Thom’s digging it, then maybe I’m just missing something. But whatever it is, it’d want to be something fairly substantial, and reveal itself awful soon, as until it does, Sisterworld is always going to be considered as a worthy sacrifice for Does It Offend You, Yeah?'s upcoming album...

Moving onto a much louder note, next on the list is Lostprophets and their fourth album, which, as you might know, I was weirdly excited about. Weirdly so because I wasn’t all that into them until the few months leading up to the release of The Betrayed, in fact, Rooftops was the only song I had, and loved ever since I saw that incredible Jeff Hardy tribute video in was played in… But then, following watching videos of the masses they attracted to their headline set at Leeds, I felt I’d be a terrible person not to give them a chance. I mean, packing out a tent against Deadmaufive, La Roux, and, um, oh yeah, Radiohead is no easy task…
So I slowly began to become more and more likened to their other stuff, Burn Burn, A Town Called Hypocrisy, et cetera, when I heard the news, along with a pretty decent single, of a new album. Hence began my usual getting excited routine, and things were going fab. Everything I heard I loved. There’s a ridiculous live video from Reading 2004 of Last Train Home which gives multiple reasons as to why their renowned as such a good live band. Also, for some reason, I never knew until a few months back that they were from Wales, which is obviously a plus. And then, just when they have me drooling over my keyboard as I’m searching desperately for a leak on the internet in the days coming up to its release, they whip this shit out.



After hearing this, I didn’t really want to hear the album anymore. Cause I’d be perfectly happy listening to it on repeat for quite some time. But, in thinking of my family who were getting sick and sick fast of hearing Where We Belong blaring from my room, I downloaded the album, and it’s alright I guess. Well, more than alright, it’s good, but it’s just like their three previous releases; three or four cool sounding tracks and some instrumentals with Ian Watkins singing over them in between. Also the bastards scared the sugar out of me my following the pleasant opening song with the unrelenting scremo-anthem DSTRYR/DSTRYR. Things continued to go downhill when that faggot who presents the Rock Chart on MTVTWO went and killed me joy by pointing out that Where We Belong is ripped off from She Will be Loved… Like, he’s right, but there was no need to go and do that? It’s like people who post “You Just lost the Game lol” on the internet, it’s just like cheers douche? God, some people…
So basically, if you didn’t have a Lostprophets album before this, you’re not going to have one after this, and if you liked only a few songs by them, then , surprise surprise, you’ll like a few of these ones too, and if you’re weird and loved them to bits before this, well, then, you’re weird. But, as I unfortunately only found out just a few weeks ago, which of those categories you fall into doesn’t matter in the slightest. Because all of you, even the weird, are all human and therefore have the two things needed to love this final lovely band who’s name starts with an L; at least one working ear, and higher brain function. Los Campesinos!, selflessly, have made the rest beautifully easy.

The best part about falling hopelessly in love with the Welsh :) only not really :( indie seven-piece’s third album, was that I’d completely forgotten about them. Hold On Now, Youngster… had laid dormant in the deepest darkest metaphorical attics of my hard drive for over a year, but don‘t worry, I went and rooted it out straight after picking my jaw up off the floor after listening to Romance Is Boring. It’s just so frickin good. These Are Listed Buildings makes me smile every time I hear it, This Is A Flag. There Is No Wind makes me smile every time I hear it, and I Warned You Do Not Make An Enemy Of Me just makes me smile every time I hear it. Plan A, on the other hand, did not make me smile, as it it’s quite difficult to smile when you’re practically drooling at the sheer awesomeness. But if almost everything else doesn’t draw a smile from your face and make your tummy feel yummy, then you probably have something that isn’t yummy up the hole you don’t smile with. And it’s worth noting that A Heat Rash In The Shape Of The Show Me State Or, Letters From Me To Charlotte sounds infinitely better than anything off the Panic At The Disco album its title suggests it should be on.
Los Campesinos! really have nailed it with Romance Is Boring, there’s literally not a song on it that I dislike. Like I’m having serious trouble deciding on which song to provide below, because seeing as many among you, the doubters, won’t follow up on what I have already listened to more than Hidden, it could very well be the only song off it that will grace your malnourished ears. I contemplated about my current favourite, title track Romance Is Boring, but eventually realized it would be criminal to leave out the emotional and powerful track which beautifully contrasts with the general happy and chirpy feel of the record.



Honestly, if that song doesn’t do it for you, than there’s little chance that you won’t spend your 30th birthday with just yourself, your hand, mediocre softcore porn, and a Fionn Regan album on which he gives up on gibberish lyrics about badgers and aerosol cans and just makes random gurgling noises and the occasional high pitched yelp.
I always ponder over which letter is my favourite on my iPod, but unfortunately Metronomy, Mystery Jets, MSTRKRFT, Marina, Metric, and the best rock band in the world all begin with an M, so it’s all too easy. But there’s nothing shameful about silver, and thanks to Los Campesinos!, the odd Lostprophets song, and the soon-to-be-non-presence of Liars, L is now a hell of a lot more than some kick-ass electro and a permanently tripping Sam Eastgate and friends.

Yeasayer - Odd Blood

_____Prejudices are a wonderful thing. To have such a strong opinion on something without ever having experienced it for yourself, it’s just so illogically beautiful. I have one such pretty prejudice against Yeasayer. Well, sort of. I don’t dislike their music as such. And I have zero problems with how they present themselves. And it just so happens that I adore the work they’ve done with Simian Mobile Disco and Bat For Lashes. So what is it about Yeasayer that boils my blood so? It was, unsurprisingly, a girl. Ugh, girls in general tend to be the root of many evils in this world, but this girl, oh she was something unprecedented in terms of pure, undiluted darkness and soullessness.
___Much like her horned master, she cleverly appeared to me in the form of a curiously attractive being, and lured me with her almost unladylike interest in music. We talked for literally an hour, agreeing in opinion of literally every band which arose in conversation, during which I, being such a fantastic listener, took particular notice of her almost freakish fondness of Yeasayer. However, just as I finished off the last of courageous Dutch, disaster. Hurricane Katrina. Great Famine of 1741. Big-ass iceberg in middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Some well-learned scholar of music appreciation lashes on Juicebox. My face, naturally, lights up, but hers drops in a most unearthly fashion. I swear the temperature plummeted and the lights flickered as she proclaimed her uneartly hatred for The Strokes. Foolishly, I argued otherwise, which resulted in me feeling the unrestrained wrath of her Devilish slap. And ever since that night, anytime I hear 2080, or someone so much as mentions the name Yeasayer, my cheek burns and my stomach churns. Oh, and to add insult to injury, this girl, it turns out, had a boyfriend, and I had wasted an hour of my time spading her bottomless pit.
___So yeh, in my mind, Yeasayer = pain and disappointment. Or so was the case up until a while back, as today, Yeasayer = pain, disappointment, and a cool catchy song with a quirky video featuring numerous naked people.


Yeasayer - "Ambling Alp" video
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_____Following similar nakedness in recent videos from Girls, and Flaming Lips, it makes you wonder why it has become so hip all of a sudden… But that’s off the point, what’s important is that upon hearing this song, I was forced to face my demons and download their new album, Odd Blood. I re-uploaded All Hour Cymbals as well for the lulz as well, but hastily deleted it when, upon requiring space for the new Los Campesinos! album, remembered it’s about as decent as whipping your wang out in semi-public places. Its successor however, well, it’s definitely better.
___I suppose I best get the bad parts over with first, I’ll try to make it quick and painless. The Children is a terrible note to open with, Griselda a worse one to finish on, and Strange Reunions is aimless and rubbish. Surprisingly, that’s it. Somehow, only 30% of the tracks on this record could pass for something Example might have had so much as the slightest thing to do with, while the rest of them are actually pretty good.
___Soon to be second single ONE has a wonderfully chirpy edge to it, I love the strangeness of Mondegreen, and I keep getting a curiously intriguing Simon & Garfunkel vibe from Madder Red for some reason. That’s probably just me though… But I must say that it was Rome that really caught my ear, per se, and assuming the non-existence of the aforementioned Ambling Alp, it’s definitely one of my favourite songs on the record. Lastly, but certainly not leastly is Love Me Girl, a song which wouldn’t be out of place on a SMD album, which is a pretty gosh-darn high compliment coming from me.



_____Yes, it definitely wouldn’t be out of place, but it wouldn’t stand out either. And, unfortunately, for me that’s the case for Odd Blood as a whole. It’s trendy, it’s hip, and it sounds really cool, but at the end of the day, it is competing against the likes of SMD, Animal Collective, Hot Chip etc, and I’m struggling to imagine a scenario where Odd Blood could do something for me that Temporary Pleasure, or Merriweather Post Pavillion couldn’t do and more.
___I’ll probably keep it around for the time being for the likes of Ambling Alp and Rome, but come the time when I need space for the new Klaxons album, Odd Blood’s gonna be right up there amongst the candidates for the chop. Well, that’s assuming I haven’t purchased the newly-released 39th generation iPod which can hold 2.4 X 10 to some ridiculous power amount of songs by then, which is sickeningly likely knowing judging by how long that album's taken so far…

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These New Puritans - Hidden

_____2009 saw the miraculous, questionable ascent of a new band that are now infecting some of the most prestigious music magazine covers around. Ok, NME is hardly prestigious, they have had some shocking bands on there before, Kasabian have snuck on there in the past and even the cast of Skins once. I think the editor, however, explained the former as a “severe, clinical error”, which would cost “a fair few jobs and at least one neck”… But this does not change the fact that The xx continue to grow more popular everyday, and yeah, Crystalised is a really cool song, but it does not merit almost daily status updates on Facebook popping up in my newsfeed shouting its exaggerated praises. Heart Skipped A Beat is better anyways…
___It gets under my skin because these guys aren’t on that cover because of their music, they’re there because they represent the fastest-growing fad since Furby’s. Art-faggery is worming its way into new-music. It’s the height of apathetic coolness, inspiring everyone to mindlessly rush with beaver-like eagerness to hop on and be seen on the Art-Fag-Band-wagon. Not me though, no no, I’m not going to fall victim to yet another media-driven craze. I’m like a metaphorical horse. You can bring me to the metaphorical water that is really nice artsy music, but you can not make me metaphorically drink and cave and admit that I love it. Because I’m not a metaphorical horse, I’m a metaphorical stubborn-ass mule. At least I was. Right up until I heard this…



_____I’m gonna have to hold my hands up here and say I dismissed their first album, Beat Pyramid, when I first heard it. I’m not sure why, I must have been in a foul mood, or suffering from some form of rectal irritation, because the first studio LP from These New Puritans is awesome. It’s nothing like The xx, except in that it is really quite good, drags on a bit, and also in that it makes me quite sad. Sad, not because their music is slightly depressing like the other lot, but sad because I didn’t hear about it until ridiculously recently. It’s rash, reckless, unrestrained, and it sounds so, so good. They’ve traded that in however on their second album, Hidden, for something quite different. And I once more initially disliked it, branding it two fluky pretty tracks in a collection of contemporary crap. That was initially though.
___As much as I hate the idea of trying to marry music with art, as painfully practiced by The xx, these guys have won me over. They’ve gone all deep and more-than-meaningful on it, almost the exact opposite of the Late Of The Pier levels of fun we heard on their debut album, but without sounding darshy in the process. It is am eloquent, artsy flavoured album that could not contrast more with the chaotic brilliance of their first, but that doesn’t mean anything’s changed on the awesome front. Far from it, as it happens.
___The English four-piece have delicately orchestrated ten tracks, and an unfortunate sub-standard intro, into my favourite album of the year so far. There’s powerfully dark tracks like Three Thousand and the choral Orion, but there’s also refreshingly bright sparks like White Chords, and the suitably poetry-referencing titled Drum Courts - Where Corals Lie. I think that’s essentially why I had no problem whatsoever loving this album, as opposed to the compliments I begrudgingly speak through gritted teeth of The xx, because it’s not just a fashionably dark album, nor is it just a happy-go-lucky mellow album, it’s a beautiful, authentic fusion of the two, and it all just works so smoothly. Like clockwork, or not sandpaper. It’s not all preciously polite and artsy though, Fire Power is a bit of a blast from their past in that it’s quite aggressive and upbeat, like much of Beat Pyramid, and there’s also the odd bad-ass track thrown in there too, Attack Music my personal favourite, but this is really what’s gonna be the irresistible lure for all those Konforming Kool Kats.



_____I would usually take this opportunity to forcefully predict that these guys, with their strange, almost-alien sound, will take 2010 by storm, their subtle yet seismic waves guaranteed to be picked up across the music-world, but to be honest, if Elvis alone didn’t earn their debut at the least a Mercury nomination, then I’m not prepared to risk having to eat my hat when Hidden almost inevitably doesn’t either. But I will give you my most sincerest of words that give this album a chance, as in actually listen to it more than once, and you’ll love it. And please, don’t just download We Want War, you wouldn’t go to the Louvre just to see the Mona Lisa now would you? What, you would? Well then I’m better than you cause I can appreciate art, and you, most probably, like trance music. Shnapp.

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