March 1st Marks Much More Than Mocks

_____I’m the kind of person that gets excited a bit too easily. Ya know, like someone could mention they’re merely considering going to the forthcoming 30 Seconds To Mars concert, and I’d lose quite a bit of sleep that night thinking about where we’d go beforehand, what time we’d be at the concert, what songs they’d play, which ones I’d enjoy most etc, right down to the drunken conversations we’d have on the way home. This unfortunately results in me being bitterly disappointed when my dream plans never actually take any shape whatsoever, and even sometimes results in me being down the price of a Kissy Sell Out ticket. Lesson #1: Never be the first to buy your ticket. Life Mentality #1: Never, ever, listen to Gareth O’ Conner.
___So, in order to try and delay my inevitable slip into a disappointed depression, I do my best to be a pessimist. When I heard The Drums' EP, and quite liked it, I convinced myself that there was no point in getting excited, because they’d probably turn into an American version of Foals, and while the music would be awesome, I’d have no choice but to start hating their guts for no reason other than their provocative hairstyles. When I hear Avril Lavigne has broken up with that midget Sum 41 gimp, my ears don’t perk up because, realistically, I was never going to and never will tap that. When I hear Calvin Harris’ new song, I don’t jump for joy because it’s a terrible terrible song. I’ve learned not to line myself up for numerous falls by being a negative sceptic. However, despite what will be my greatest efforts, I’ve a sneaky suspicion I won’t be getting much sleep on the eve of March’s arrival. And what little I do will most likely be haunted by dreams of this little lady.



_____The reason I physically can’t wait for the 1st of March to roll around is that it will see the release of three of my most eagerly awaited albums of the year so far, including the above featured Ellie Goulding. Despite having had to associate with some of the worst musical talents in the world today, most notably Fwankmusik, this sort-of-attractive-from-some-angles-but-really-not-from-most lass has miraculously managed to protect her music from his vile influences. In fact, out of the songs that have been released to date, I Wish I Stayed, the song produced by your annoying cunt of a man, is probably the furthest from that god-awful poppy-synthy-auto-tuned music that he shows no guilt in sharing with us. And it’s really good too. Her best though, was the first song of hers that I ever heard on some rainy-ass October evening. I remember it vividly; my playroom with a cup of tea, a bowl of Koka noodles, and two slices of banana bread feeling like Frankmusik’s debut album after a heavy night previous, watching mediocre midday music television, when, all of a sudden, I heard the voice of a girl who’s threat to my obsession with Marina Diamandis continues to grow larger everyday. Her first single, and undoubtedly her best, Under The Sheets sounds prettier every time I hear it. Which is quite often at this stage.
___While obviously I am terribly looking forward to hearing her debut LP Lights, I don’t expect it will blast her to any heights higher than those which her previously released singles already have done. In my opinion, she just has too much to compete with in what is already an overcrowded scene. She joins the musical sprint to release two decent-selling singles and a mediocre cover and become this years Florence & The Machine, and while she does already have the mediocre cover sorted with a pleasant take on Sleepyhead, but not only does her main rival have the correct band name format, but Marina just has the long, seductive legs on her. But what this record will do for her will be a strong, really catchy base to stand on, and who knows, if Starsmith and the other joker can get this sorta quality out of her, then maybe future half-decent collaborators can skyrocket her to stardom.

_____The second band who are to headline the March 1st new music marathon in my room are an Irish band who already seem to be well on their way to said sought-after stardom. Well, sort of; they're Northern Irish. I know, I know, strike one, but Two Door Cinema Club are a dead-set to be whacking homers all season long by the sounds of what I’ve heard so far. Which has been quite a lot, but then again not really considering they’ve been teasing us for approaching three years at this stage, with this last year seeing them almost completely undress their beautiful sound, to the effect that everyone can see they are so goddamn hot right now, and are eagerly waiting for them to reveal the positively whopper boobage that will inevitably be Tourist History.
___I mentioned before my love-hate dilemma with Foals, well these guys make a vaguely similar awesome noise, but the difference is I don’t want to punch their lead singer in the face, and that’s generally a good thing. There’s also a hint of a Vampire Weekend quirkiness in some of their tracks, but they’re songs differ in that they don’t all sound the same. I can loosely tie their music to loads of other bands too, but only for good reasons. I usually, as a pessimist, make an effort to point out even the most minute of flaws in a particular record, but I’m seriously struggling here. Four Words To Stand On has rendered the Girls debut mediocre by comparison, dancing to Something Good Can Work has replaced jerking off when my morning shower comes around, and I Can Talk now ranks two places higher than my youngest sister in my list of life-priorities. These are bold statements, but they’re harsher realities, deal with it sis. I can’t talk these guys up enough, so I won’t. Instead I’ll leave you with a clever pun of an awesome song that can.



_____The way I see it, and what I hope you’re beginning to see too, is that every cloud has a silver lining, even that big black Mock-shaped one. But, not only does the 1st of March have a silver lining, it has a great beam of Blood Red light piercing right through it. What this heavenly symbol represents is the second coming of what I view to be the best boy-girl rock duo around today. And here’s the kicker: Jack White isn’t the boy. How this punk-rock duo’s first album, Box of Secrets, didn’t get half the recognition it deserved is right up there with how more than fourteen people actually went to see that “Sculpture of an Album” bullshit that The xx are pulling as the great mysteries of the musical universe, as it would have been looking at a podium finish in my Albums of 2009, only it wasn’t an Album of 2009. What it was, was the absolutely stunning opening debut of Blood Red Shoes.

_____It was practically flawless. Sorry, is practically flawless, as even now it stands proud amongst the few albums I can listen to all the way through without the slightest temptation to skip past that one relatively poor track, or just to get to your favourite before your date gets there and you have to be “polite” and switch the iPod off. And that’s partly down to the peculiar fact that not only are there no weak points in this album, but I don’t really have a favourite either. If you held a gun to my head and asked me to choose, then you’d have to shoot, cause the best I could give ya a toss up between is an adrenaline-inducing You Bring Me Down, a hardcore hypnotising This Is Not For You, and a psychotically majestic I Wish I Was Someone Else. And I have equally flattering adjectives to describe all their other tracks too.
___As is vital for any musical duo, the chemistry between Steven Ansell on drums and Laura-Mary Carter on guitar is a beauty to listen to, and it’s something that really comes through in their music. It does appear, however, from videos of live performances that the pair do struggle to maintain the non-stop heart-racing attitude that we hear on the album, but we’ll forgive them that, as I’ve yet to see a video where Ansell isn’t dripping with sweat trying to balance drums and lead vocals while giving absolutely everything he can to bring the energy into the live performance, which I can imagine are still far from lacklustre.



_____Oh yeah, that video reminds me, I’d totally do Laura-Mary Carter too, another plus. That video is a preview of the album to come, and I was delighted when I first heard it, as it reassured me that nothing is going to change with Fire Like This. They’re not going to try anything funny, they’re not going to try perfect the formula. Because if it ain’t broke, why fix it?

_____So there you have it, three kick-ass reasons not to dread the 1st of March, but l‘attendre avec the utmost impatience. Now, I’m off to study, Mocks are in fucking four weeks…

Hadouken! - For The Masses

_____Much like people use technological and political revolutions to define eras in history, I use music to distinguish between different periods of my blurry teenage years. It sounds a bit silly, and quite weird, but, for me, it’s remarkably accurate. All the milestones and memories I have of the past four years I can distinctively relate to reference to music. First time I went out drinking, I still had 63 Britney Spears songs on my iPod. The first time I KO’ed, Invaders Must Die was soundtracking my downward gin-enduced spiral. And the first time I touched a girl’s boobs was during the second most-insane concert I’ve ever been to (Yes, Muse take the gold there too), in the height of my obsession with Pendulum. As awesome a rite of passage it was though, it probably wasn’t worth missing the best of part of Showdown for…
___So, whenever I hear someone plead with God to send them back in time to fourth year, or pass a hungover transitioning adolescent in the corridor on a Monday morning, The word Hadouken! flashes before my eyes in crazy high-visibility writing. They could not have been more fourth year. No gaff would pass by without Liquid Lives getting played at least five times. No gaff would similarly pass without getting a run-down as dictated by Get Smashed Gate Crash. And I’d have shouted torrents of abuse at you from a distance if you told me I’d come to wear the skinny-fit jeans and like the indie-Cindy’s described in That Boy That Girl. In fact, at the time, their Wikipedia page even referred to their music as “Fourth Year Rave Pop”. And it really was. Once we left the beautiful place that was TY, I couldn’t listen to Music For An Accelerated Culture for substantial periods of time without it hurting my ears. Lol, even the video for this, perhaps the only song of that album that I can still listen to without flinching at the associated taste of Devil’s Bit in my mouth, is a bunch of 16 year olds running away from police.



_____So, over the past one and a half years, apart from irregular listens to their Plan B or Bolt Action Five remixes, I have steadily matured, and consequently grown out of such anti-social noises, discarding these London lads as mere adolescent elders who had taught me all they knew. They then released M.A.D. EP, which didn’t exactly convince me otherwise, however it did come as a harsh reminder of what I used to be like, and literally the effect it had on me as an annoying prick of a fourth year. And, weirdly, I really liked it too.
___Then, trying to negotiate my way through their neon mess of a MySpace, which has since been gracefully changed, I read that James Smith and his “grindie” group had an album in the works, and that it is was a much more mature record. They even admitted that their debut LP was a tad ridiculous from a strictly aural point of view. Could Hadouken! have actually grown up and be ready to be the studious song of sixth year? For The Masses replies in a still slightly aggressively raised tone, yes, and, at the same time, certainly fucking not.

_____As an album, it definitely does portray a much more experienced and adult band, as shown by the appropriately named opening track Rebirth. However, there is still one or two tracks in there that just beg the question, “should these guys really be allowed to vote?”, and, if Mic Check is anything to go by, then no, they seriously shouldn’t. Although, I suppose they don’t really pose any threat to the democratic system, they’d probably just draw a huge knob on their ballot and run away.
___What’s ironic however, is that while the new sound we hear in Bombshock and House Is Falling Down, the latter even being the strongest track on the record, it’s still the rebellious yet harmless (amusingly also the actual Oxford Dictionary definition of a fourth year) Ugly that appeals to me. The first chorus opens with an epic “AAAAAAOOOOHHHH I’M GONNA FUCK YOUR FACE OFF”, which is not only lyrically something Thom Yorke would likely vomit upon hearing, but it actually sort of works. “It’s ugly like your sister” beautifully represents how, just cause you grow up, doesn’t mean you can’t still be obnoxious and make sister-jokes. I’d love to post it up here, but I feel I should ease you into the criminally pubescent Hadouken! sound with the first single off the album, which is pretty cool too.



_____So, to give a final verdict on the emotional growth of this crowd since their offensive debut, I’d say they certainly aren’t the embarrassing epitome of your average annoying fourth year anymore. No, now they represent those exact same fourth years, only one and a half years later; slightly more mature, but still find it amusing to play hide the can at free gaffs. I love that game…

C2

Hot Chip - One Life Stand

_____I originally planned on reviewing the new Lostprophets album today, but such are the joys of illegal filesharing that I have got my hands on Hot Chip’s new album a couple of weeks before it’s official release date of February 8th. The fourth instalment from the British electro’s nice guys very much flew in under the radio, with very little advertisement or hype surrounding the run-up to it’s release, but then again, that’s typically Hot Chip innit? Very polite, very reserved, not wanting to force their music on anyone who mightn’t find Hot Chip’s silky sound suiting to their musical appetite, weirdos, I think they’re called. Nono, there was none of that pushy advertising like Frankmusik used to try and promote his, in a word, horseshit, and not even a shneaky internet teaser to wet our taste buds like VW did with Horchata. No, five friends simply wrote some more pleasant electro music, and then announced that people would be able to buy them if they wanted to have a listen. If their music was a world religion practitioner, it’d be a Buddhist monk ; almost enlighteningly relaxing; spiritually soothing; free, yet always in complete control. Hell, these guys even put manners on Late Of The Pier.
___However, their music shares another trait with Buddhism in that it’s pretty darn popular, so One Life Stand was never going to stay a secret for long. I first caught wind of the Good News just a few weeks back, when, flicking through the music channels, I came across something most odd. MTV Two weren’t playing Sickeningly Sweet Disposition. Shock horror. No, instead, I heard the dulcet tones of one Alexis Taylor.



_____The title track is the first single from the album, and I like it. It’s nothing too fancy, nothing too unexpected, and everything you know a Hot Chip single to be. It’s catchy, but not so much that it’ll annoy the fuck out of you when it’s stuck in your head all day. It’s ever so slightly different to what we’ve heard on previous records of theirs, but not so little that it doesn’t sound fresh. It’s just right. In the “Goldilocks Zone“, to make use of a term coined by NASA in relation to those environments which are not too hot and not too cold sufficient to that they could sustain life. A beautiful compliment to any song I’d have thought, but unusually fitting for one from Hot Chip.
___So off to a healthy start, I launched into the rest of the album. Well, more glided into, “launched” suggests reckless eagerness, so not Hot Chip. And, much like previous fashions, there’s a good assortment of songs to casually dance to, songs to chill out with, and songs to just downright bask in. I’d imagine you’ll be hearing the mellow trance-like We Have Love on indie dance floors everywhere within a matter of months, albeit most likely some thrashy bass-enhanced remix. I’d recommend, if you’re feeling incensed at those air-controllers’ selfish striking antics, a nice cup of cocoa along with the therapeutic Alley Cats to calm that raging urge to write a letter to The Irish Times. And, no matter where you are or what you’re doing at any given time, you’d most likely be in a better overall life-situation if you were listening to I Feel Better instead. Just bassk.



_____There is, of course, one or two iffy songs, that just don’t work. Now I’m not quite sure what it is that makes the good stuff work, but I do know that Slush just doesn’t. I could pick a bone with Thieves In The Night if I was feeling particularly narky, but, as I’ve just listened to a Hot Chip album, I’m unsurprisingly in great form, so I won’t. However, as much as I hate to say it, One Life Stand doesn’t extinguish the one criticism I’ve always had about Hot Chip records. In fact, it’s probably worse than it’s predecessors in that it can be terribly samey. Even after two or three listens of the record, you could probably switch Keep Quiet and Brothers and I wouldn’t notice. Also, those tracks which did stand out didn’t do so with quite as much flare as previous big hits, Over & Over, or Ready For The Floor. Those two tracks were both eccentric flagships for their respective albums, showing they could venture outside the traditional Hot Chip box of what they knew worked, and produce what are their two best known tracks.
___Does One Life Stand have one of those mega-selling flagships? Not to the same extent anyways. The two tracks I’ve posted above would be my candidates to lead the fourth Hot Chip movement in extremely pleasant music, but I will say that, despite being a thoroughly enjoyable LP to listen to and review, One Life Stand, for me, is nagged by that dangerous risk of drifting off into the big sea of decent records that were only that, lacking a strong, guiding single to keep it on course to be remembered for something more than the sequel to Made In The Dark. And, of course, equally more than just the prequel to Hot Chip’s fifth, chart-topping, record-breaking, era-defining album. Hopefully.

B3

A Really Long-Winded FOB Sob Story That Also Deals With The Pains Of Bands We Love Going On Hiatus

_____Getting paid to write music, getting paid even more to perform it for hundreds and thousands of adoring fans, and having the time of your life in between. This is the tough and terrible life led by musicians across the globe, at least, for as long as they can hack it. Usually, this isn’t for long, as almost every single one of them eventually cries out for relief, for a break, for a hiatus. It usually comes around the time of the end of the third album tour, sometimes the second if a tour has been especially excruciating, or a fourth if the band were graced with a flop of an album somewhere along the line, granting time for a quick, heavenly breather. Then there’s always special cases like Kaiser Chiefs, where they take an indefinite break because they just can’t do it anymore. Not the stresses of being in a band anymore, the whole having to write decent music that at least somebody sort of likes a bit. I guess it can’t have come as surprise though, this lot, alarm bells started ringing for most of us when Lily Allen actually made Oh My God slightly better.
___But only 14 people worldwide actually care about Kaiser Chiefs taking a hiatus, while other bands have left literally millions, including myself, kinda disappointed you didn’t pay less attention to the slightly attractive drunk girl singing almost-along to each of their songs right beside you and really savoured that last concert, with the news that they will be stepping away from the music scene for an indefinite period. It can be worse than that though, it often deprives millions of vital rite of passages. Every 21st century teenagers will remember the time they drank their first six-pack, the time they lost their virginity, and the time they saw Blink 182 live. But, wait a minute, the selfish fags decided to play god with our lives and go their separate ways and form bands that make Kaiser Chiefs look ever-so-slightly less atrocious.



____I know, I know, they usually come crawling back soon enough, in the nick of time when it comes to Blink 182, just like it’s rarely more than a few weeks between the recovered crack addicts leave rehab and the rediscovered crack addicts walk right back in. Of course, with some really fly musicians like Pete Dickherty and Amy Wine-Smokes-And-Heroin-house, that’s also literally the case. But sometimes the wait is really fucking long. For instance, Soundgarden, not that I’m a fan, I was only seven or eight when they split, but like ten years!? If Muse disappeared for ten years and then all of a sudden somersaulted back into my life, I’m not sure if I could take ‘em back… I just don’t know if I could handle that kind of hurt again… Lolzers, only joking, course I would, not that they’d ever do that to me…right?
___That, perhaps, is what makes these things so much more painful; despite the formula prescribed above predicting the dreaded hiatus, it always comes as a sickening shock to hear such talent as Kaiser Chiefs are throwing in the temporary towel. Lolzers, only joking again, that was more a Bonjela-esque soothing relief. However, the end of the decade has seen the saddening announcements of two colossal bands’ respective indefinite spells away from the studio, as a group anyways. The first, as you’ve probably all heard by now, if not I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, is the band almost everyone knows and loves. They are unique like a pretty snowflake, about as camp as one too. They are a sound so varied it’s instantly recognisable. They are probably not as good live as they should be, yet I’d still pick them over MSTRKRFT every time. They are, at their purest, a lead guitarist with a disgustingly monumental side fringe. And fantastic music. Yes, definitely, that too. It’s Bloc Party.



_____I couldn’t speak highly enough of what Kele and Ko have created in the time they‘ve been together so far, yet I‘m going to surprise quite a few of you in telling you now that there is, in fact, another band that I will miss far more. And your opinions of me are most certainly going to drop when you see who they are. But I ask you now to hear me out. Don’t X-out in disgust straight away, it’s not what it initially seems, there is actually some sense to what I have to say. It’s close to impossible to have grown up as a “noughties teen” without having had at least one of their songs on your iPod at one stage, and physically, theoretically, mathematically, and utterly impossible not to have loved it. They slip comfortably into the pop, rock, emo, and everything-in-between scene, while the hard metal and softy indie kids send them dead cats in the mail, or make pathetic attempts at witty remarks as the rest of the world Dance Dance along, depending on which of the socio-musical groups above you fit into, although you still hum along to that one single you hate yourself for loving before you were swallowed up by the prescribed narrow-minded musical opinions of whatever musical scene you are currently affiliated with. Chances are that one track is still on your iPod, although you’ve carefully hidden it so that none of your peers can find it, renamed as a Foals B-side that doesn’t exist, and only listen to it when the house is empty, but you still lock the door just in case. Then, and only then, in complete solitude, you clear your throat, break out the air guitar, and pretend you were a slightly overweight American with horrid side-burns. You’d think one would prefer to be Pete, but if you were him then you wouldn’t be able to do dirty things to him now would you? Don’t pretend you don’t know the words.



_____Now, before your jaw hit’s the floor, allow me to reassure you that in no way do I rate Fall Out Boy anywhere near the standard of Bloc Party musically, there are few bands I do. However, while the latter is quite an acquired taste, a carefully crafted delicacy, FOB are microwavable popcorn. You haven’t a clue as to how it works, and when it doesn‘t it‘s absolutely vile, but when it does, and you’re in the mood, it is divine. The first song I ever really loved was 1000 Miles, and the second was Sugar, We’re Going Down. And while I have long since buried Vanessa Carlton’s piano pop-ballad, I still rock out to Fall Out Boy’s 2X Platinum global hit on an unhealthily regular basis. Sure, at a gaff party, Helicopter is as certain to be played as that guy who gets really drunk every week and makes a fool of himself will get drunk and make a fool of himself while anyone who plays FOB is, most likely, quite a lonely person, but ya know what else always gets played? I’ve Got A Feeling This Song Sucks Balls, and that, as my funnily edited title suggests, sucks balls. And yup, every album Fall Out Boy have released has sucked similar balls, while each of Bloc Party’s were almost flawless. I even bought two of them. ___However that’s exactly why I didn’t feel sad when I heard I won’t have the chance to buy number four for at least year or two, Bloc Party have more than strong enough a back catalogue to keep me going while I wait for their glorious return. Fall Out Boy don’t. They have three and a half tracks. And those three and a half tracks have just about kept Fall Out Boy alive for me over the past three years, which saw my beloved FOB release eight singles which did as much for me as earthquakes do for Haitians, including one machete-wielding stab at a Michael Jackson cover.

_____I’m going to miss Fall Out Boy more than Bloc Party because this isn’t fork in the long road of their musical career, it’s the end. Bloc Party will be back and the roadtrip of a lifetime will resume in what I imagine will be spectacular fashion, but for FOB, c’est fini. And all I have left is three and a half photographs which will be soon lost in my musical attic of my computer hard drive. It had to end eventually, I just always dreamt it would end on a more romantic and less pathetic note than Alpha Dog. But, while not my dream ending, at least it it didn’t end in a catastrophic car crash of a third album like Kaiser Chiefs…
___I’m actually being cringe-inducingly serious here, I really loved Fall Out Boy when I was smaller. I loved those three and half singles enough that it didn’t matter everything else they wrote was, if left exposed to it for long periods of time, borderline cancerous. I loved the way the guitarist always did those ridiculous whirlwind spins at every opportunity. I loved the way their music videos have those annoying pauses in the music for a bit of pointless dialogue. Most of all, I just really fucking loved Sugar, We’re Going Down.

Vampire Weekend - Contra

_____So I think it’s pretty fair to say that this is the first widely anticipated album of 2010. It’s also pretty certain that following the success of their self-titled debut album since it’s release in early 2008, Vampire Weekend, while fully deserving of the credit and acclaim received for what was a stunning first album, kind of put an uncomfortable amount of pressure on themselves to write an equally stunning follow-up. They had to somehow retain their individual and unique sound from the first, but at the same time not produce a samey-sounding second. They couldn’t afford to lose their upbeat chirpiness, but had to keep it sounding fresh. After listening to Contra, I shouldn’t change my opinion of Vampire Weekend, more add to it, expand it, deepen it. It would have been too easy to produce Vampire Weekend II, and even easier to go all Arctic Monkeys on it and release a far too complex, far too different, and, on the whole, far too suckish epilogue to what was a fantastic success story.
___So, when I can first heard free download Horchata in October, I was kind of disappointed. Not that it doesn’t sound lovely, it does, and I wouldn’t hesitate to introduce it to my parents, but it was purely, completely, 100% what was expected of them. They just reminded me so much of that guy who’s just so fucking nice it sort of annoys you? Like, I sort of hoped they’d come out with some outrageous track with a Kiss Of Life style African drum chorus, Gravity’s Rainbow-y dominating bass, and, I dunno, some sexist lyrics to match or something? Instead, I got this vibrant, quirky track that, to my unrelenting anger, makes me smile every time I hear it…



_____Horchata is actually down to be their next single at the moment, an odd decision in my view as there are much better songs on this record, namely the heart-wrenchingly cute White Sky, or possibly the most different sounding track on the record (apart from Taxi Cab, but that‘s terrible), Run, or most definitely the best sounding track on the record, Giving Up The Gun. After those three? Erm, yeahhhhh…not really.
___Don’t get me wrong, I do like the majority of songs on the album, I Think Ur A Contra is a beautiful song with which to close the record, and I’ll be the first to admit that Cousins was a fantastic first single transition from the A-Punk sound to the extremely similar yet just about different enough sound that Contra offers. And there I was thinking Diplomat’s Son perfectly integrated the hip MIA noise, making an average song far greater than just that, only to find it actually samples said hip MIA…But my point is that none of these seem to me to be single material, they just lack identity or something? They sound exactly like what they are, Vampire Weekend album filler. Awesome album filler, but album filler all the same. The rest of which, I’m afraid, is not so awesome.
___They’re not disgraceful, but Holiday just doesn’t work for me, and I’ve already remarked on my dissatisfaction with Taxi Cab, and then California English, well I’d like to know why California English Pt. 2, a bonus track, didn’t make it onto the original release, because Pt. 1 leaves quite a bit to be desired. Unlike Giving Up The Gun, which, like I said, rocks.



_____Like I said before, Vampire Weekend are the ridiculously nice guy you hate to like but can’t hate. And that’s not going to change with Contra, an album which I do like, but am secretly trying to find holes in, and perhaps that’s why, looking back on what I’ve written, I’ve probably been a bit harsh. And I’m going to give it a slightly harsh mark, considering it was far from a bad listen, but that is solely due to two authentic reasons. The first is that I feel Contra was a tad on the safe side. They just could have let loose a bit more, made it sound less like the old Vampire Weekend’s second album a bit more like a new, more experienced, more confident Vampire Weekend’s first, but maybe I’m forgetting the pressures places on new bands like this to stick to what sells, especially following relatively recent news of Klaxons having their second album being rejected by Universal, and Friendly Fires being told to cut down on the whole samba influence that kept creeping up in their first album. And the second is that the huge success of their debut album meant that this album was never going to be quite as good, and I am confident it won’t be, nor will it sell as well. My three favourite Vampire Weekend tracks still all come from their first release, and I’d be surprised if it’s a different story for anyone else.

B3

Delphic - Acolyte

_____Probably the most annoying thing about new bands is, when you find their first smashing single, you’re like “Yeah, awesome, I love these guys, I can’t wait to hear some more of their stuff”, but when you head onto their MySpace, all you find is the smashing single that’s it. No mention of an album, not even an EP, nothing. Wikipedia is the next port of call, if they even show up there, but that rarely provides anything more than a brief paragraph about where they’re from and more useless information about their one, solitary, lonely, stand-alone single. Then, finally, you Google them, and find about halfway down the page a link to an interview where they mention that they’re writing an album! Success! Except not really, cause it’s not out ‘till March 22nd 2047.
___Like seriously, Ou Est Le Swimming Pool, that song is really cool and all, but, with no album whatsoever on the horizon, there’s a fair chance I’ll be obsessed with Marina & The Diamonds’ album by then, and even more hopelessly in love with her, and won’t have time for what I’m sure will be a fantastic album.
___Anyways, Delphic were one of those annoying new bands. But they’re not anymore, because the long-awaited album, Acolyte, is here now. And it was worth waiting for. Well, parts of it were. Mostly this part.



_____See, when I was starting to give up on Delphic, what with no new material throughout the whole of winter, and Counterpoint getting quite old quite faster, Doubt, their latest release, came along and rocked my Delphicworld all over again.
___This Momentary rocked said Delphicworld in a similar fashion when I first heard it back in August, but that was more like a gentle, caressing rocking, while with Doubt it’s more like eyes-roll-back-and-your-head-blows-off-type rocking.
___The third, and unfortunately final, rocking comes in the form of Clarion Call. This actually is a better all-round rocking, kinda like a mix of the two aforementioned tracks, except, like most good rockings, it’s over all too soon. Still though, two minutes fifty-six seconds of heaven.



____Like I said, after those three tracks, there isn’t much else too striking on the record. Title track Acolyte did impress me on first listen, but at almost nine minutes long, it doesn’t really evolve much, or at all, and so the first listen ends up being the last, as life’s just too short. Red Lights and Remain are similar in the that they're quite long-winded, but quite dissimilar in that they’re painfully dull.

_____So, if I were to put an amusing, yet probably too detailed metaphor on the album as a whole, I guess it would be like a love affair between a girl and a far less attractive boy, where she’s drawn in by his weird, nervous, Counterpoint charm, when she eventually beds him finds out he has a HUGE tool, in Doubt, but is then ultimately disappointed when the sex, although granted quite romantic, is either amazing but over too soon, or epically long and seems like it’ll never get to any finish. However I’m definitely gonna keep Delphic around, as I actually do think the word romantic brilliantly describes a lot of what Acolyte brings to the table. It’s the common case of whether stick with the romantic, sweet, yet unable to completely satisfy, or go out and listen to Fantasy Black Channel for the best meaningless love-experience of your life. Yeah, I’d always pick the latter too, but the huge tool is reason enough to keep the other guy around. Ya never know, they might learn to use it in their next record.

C1

PS I would give an illegal downloadable link, but I got an awfully formal email from the internet police saying not to… What I will give you though, is a link to Filestube, a wonderful website that I’ve grown quite fond of.